OTHER Syndicate | 45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, Orders a Cup of Coffee
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45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, Orders a Cup of Coffee

45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, Orders a Cup of Coffee

Any hot drinks?

 

Now let me tell you something about coffee, OK, now coffee— and I mean I love coffee, like so much, ask anyone and they’ll say: ‘boy! Donald sure loves coffee!’ and it’s true, I do, I’ve probably drunk about a million and a half or two million cups of coffee in my life, so I know what I’m talkin’ about, OK, but coffee— OK, look, now a lot of people, Republicans and Democrats, they ask me: ‘Donald, what about the decaf?’ and I say: decaf? sad, very sad, that’s very sad coffee, no caffeine, no buzz, and I need a buzz in the morning need a kick real important to wake up gotta get that buzz big buzz been saying this for 35 years now; I was one of the first people drinking coffee, 35 years ago in college I was probably the first person to ever drink a cup of coffee, back at the Wharton School of Finance— great school, had a great time there, was a great student, OK, great student with great grades, my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT, so I’ve got the credentials, OK, and I mean I always order large, OK, ever since college, order a large, go big or go home I always get a large, there’s no problem, OK, I guarantee that it’s a large from me (I guarantee)— but here’s what bothers me: we got the great coffee and the sad coffee, the decaf (sad very sad), but what I wanna know is: what about the tea? OK, because the British, and I mean, now I love the British— my mother, great lady, now she loved the Queen, she always loved Queen and the Royals and all the ceremonies and just all those ceremonies with the gold and the ceremonies and stuff, those kooky British guys, gotta love ‘em with all the feathers and the horses and the beards and the crowns and stuff, so I love the British, OK, but those guys, I mean, those guys love their tea, and I mean, tea— now tea is OK, I mean it’s good, but what I wanna know is, where are they getting it from? (and we all know, don’t we!) it’s from Chayna, OK those guys in Chayna, they love the tea there, I’ve seen them drinking it and tasting it and everything and that’s a problem, OK, and we gotta cut that off, I mean, those guys are trouble— they’re sucking the blood out of us and we gotta put a stop to it, we have no choice, Chayna and the Persians, OK, with their herbals  (those guys love the herbals)— we have no choice, OK, we gotta put a stop to it, cuz coffee, I love coffee, good ol’ American coffee, and those guys are serious competition, OK, they’re great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators; and they’re just killing us OK, they’re just, they’re killing us, and now we’re dead, OK, we’re dead, we’re all dead.

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